Mr. Parks is sort of a diva…

the longer you know someone and the more comfortable they become around you, the more freely their neuroses emerge. i think i know intimately the extreme side of this particular phenomenon (and vice versa – i’m sure he has a million things he could say about me!). it’s sort of like we keep “upping the ante,” if you know what i mean – once we hit a new level of comfort in a weirdness we didn’t even know we could exhibit, a new bar is set and we manage to exceed it. i’m both excited and scared (haha) to see where this might lead in the next 5, 10, 20 years…graduation-and-safe-party-005.jpg

but, to stick to a more narrow illustration under this umbrella topic, i’m going to reveal how my boyfriend is a diva. i think i’m the only one who really knows this – after all, his truly unedited self exists comfortably only around me. in fact, most people who know him probably wouldn’t list “diva” among the top characteristics to describe him. they’d more likely go with “considerate,” “kind,” “introspective,” “artistic,” “introverted,” or “philosophical.” i agree with all of these descriptions – they are among the many reasons why i love him so very much. i guess people may be tipped off by the fact that he can sometimes be moody and over anxious about time (he really really worries about being late – so i’m tough to deal with since “on time” to me is early), but that is only the tip of the diva iceburg! i must say, though, i accept his diva-ness; i even love him for it.

this morning he was in a hugely exaggerated hurry to leave. the usual occurred – he didn’t like any clothing options, his socks were stupid and looked dirty even though they were clean, and i wasn’t paying attention when he wanted my advice on the shirt he should wear (although i usually give the wrong advice). his hair sucked, he was pale, and he wanted something that would make his face “fresher and dewy.” he’s not pleased with his neutrogena microdermabrasion system and insists that his face care regimen is crap. last night, he was upset because i wasn’t paying enough attention to which boots he should wear. i think i gave the wrong answer – but i know him, and whatever answer i would have selected would have had numerous serious and negative repurcussions. one pair looked like “ridiculous loafers” under his jeans because the length of the jeans hide the boot heel and buckle that he admires when he’s not wearing them. the other pair is shit because they are old and cheap and the color is all wrong; and why did he buy the newer ones to begin with if he was going to be forced to wear the old ones all the time?

in the almost two and a half years that we’ve been together, he’s had two haircuts that he hasn’t hated (that’s a compliment, by the way!). for a full six months when we first met, he rarely went out without a hat. he actually has gorgeous, shiny black hair – but you would think he had hair like carrot top or david trump the way he describes it. he actually once called a hair salon and asked for a stylist who wasn’t “afraid to cut hair.” he thinks it’s ridiculous to have to describe to a stylist what to do to his hair. oh yeah, sometimes he needs “alone time” in the mirror. i’ve sort of spied on him during this process – i’m pretty sure it consists mainly of checking out different angles and facial expressions, and the impact they have on his hair. he’s usually not pleased with the outcome, though. i won’t lie, when he gets ready, there is a lot of shouting involved.

i love him to pieces, though, and i wouldn’t want him to ever feel the need to restrain his diva-ish behavior. it’s a part of him, and a part that he has felt comfortable enough to share with me, knowing that i will accept him and love him no matter what his complaints may be!! i think he’s perfect…

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