lately i’ve been trying to conquer one of my biggest “fears.” i guess i’m probably using the word “fear” incorrectly; i guess i mean that i’ve been trying to get over my emotional inhibition in regards to hanging out with homeless dogs. ever since i was a young child, i have loved animals – all animals. i distinctly remember the first (and only) time that i killed a spider. i was three years old, and it was a daddy long legs. i was sitting on the porch with my mom and i told her to step on it. i knew it was wrong, instantly. i mean, who are we to presume that a spider’s life is less important than our own? the only reason that we feel important on this earth is because we’re frightened to think about the fact that we might NOT be all that important. who is to say that the spider, the ant, the atom, doesn’t have its own sphere of life as we do? and who’s to say that there isn’t a larger sphere of life in which WE are the ants or spiders or atoms? i guess i’m straying from my topic about animals. it’s easy for me to stray. i’ve often been asked why and how i can be so positive and happy while also thinking that we, as humans, might be an unimportant organism in the universe. i think there is an easy answer to the question – i believe that my existence on earth is important TO ME because i am incapable of knowing anything else. if this is all i have, well, hell, i’ll make the best of it. but i’m not ABOUT to think that i am created in the image of god of whatever. that’s silly. the bible is silly. fitting everything into a book that has been translated 1000 times and is 2000 years old is silly. what i know is love – love for my family, for my friends, for my life partner chris, for my doggie goose. that’s all. that’s all.
actually – i’ve decided to edit this because i never finished my initial thought, which was about dogs. i am probably the most emotional human being you’ve come across. unfortunately i’ve let that emotion stop me from personally contributing to a cause i care very much about – giving homeless dogs a great new life. i’ve always contributed financially, which is easy, but i want to love these dogs. i want to be the person who makes them feel that everything is going to be ok. i’m going to stop crying every time i think about abandoned dogs. now, i’m going to DO something (aside from money) about it. i don’t mean to undermine the financial side of non-profit contribution – if i ever make a lot of money in my life, i’m going to help out as many adoption shelters as i possibly can. i hope so very much that i can make a difference someday in the near-ish future. i want these loyal and loving animals to know that there are loved back.