Went out last night…

I went out last night, and i have come to realize that there are so many unhappy people out and about in bars, or clubs looking for something to fill the void, and it all seems so pointless when you are coming form the point of view of being in love. i suppose that i have a skewed perspective of it all since i am fortunate enough to have everything i have ever dreamed of in my life – my partner, Mrs. Parks. I mean i get it…everyone is looking for the person to couple up with two by two (lame Dave Mathews reference) but the reality of it all is so many people are packed into crowded bars, looking for the the one person they can call home. I also realize that some are there for mere purely stimulation and any kind of self gratification because they have become so benumbed to their reality and their day to day existence. That’s ok i guess. i just feel like they are looking in the wrong place – i mean i got lucky and found my life partner in a bar – serendipitous and ironic i know coming from the place i was coming from…in my moment of weakness i found my savior, and it wasn’t a Jesus. It was a silly Blondie girl that wouldn’t stop staring at me. I just feel like these people  for the most part,  are not going to find what they are looking for in a drunken haze,  in some bar in town…then again, i’m not sure where the ideal place is that you can meet people – quality people. Perhaps they are just as prone to blind luck or the law of attraction or whatever as i was…who am i to judge? I guess i just didn’t like to vibe…and i guess, as much as i hate to put myself in that group – i’m growing up, and no longer care about being seen or anything…i just want to have a harmonious home with person that i chose, and have a bottle of wine and cook dinner instead of spending $75.00 at some bar. I mean i have thought of all this before – it’s not like this just came to me. I never have been comfortable around a lot of people, or loud music (that sucks) ; i would just rather get wasted with my lady and best friends, with no agendas, no ulterior motives – just friends genuinely hanging out…and creating memories together…a celebration of life because it is so short and precious and sacred. That’s what truly matters – being with the people you love – not trying to prove something or manifest some fleeting, poignant moment that will mean nothing as soon as the liquor wears off. i’ve been there, and those memories never last or carry much weight in the long run. It’s when you stick through the thick and thin – it’s when you sacrifice for the other that you love that anything takes on meaning and significance. I’m babbling and it’s late so whatever…i love you Steph….

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