Category Archives: marriage

can’t we all (shouldn’t we all?) get along?

how much do we really know about the people we surround ourselves with?  i’d like to say “a lot.”  at least i think that’s true for most of the people i know.  and with those people, i believe i would be able to predict the way they might react to certain undiscussed topics.  very recently, i learned how untrue my assumption can be.  i was surprised to read some ignorant, unintelligent comments that a “friend” of ours wrote.

i don’t mean to presume that only my opinions are correct or fair.  i only know that my opinions are my own, and i should treat them as such.  that is, i would not impose my opinions on other people, and i rarely get into debates about them unless there is some imminent reason for it. i haven’t engaged in a dialogue about the topic i am about to discuss.  this is probably because a rational, conversational debate on this subject is rare.  at least in my experiences…

i would like to invite friendly, respectful conversation about gay marriage.  i would like to try to understand why someone might be opposed to gay marriage.  it sounds simple, but every reason that i hear comes across as intolerant.  i’m having trouble understanding why anyone would object – it’s not as if anyone is asking you to be homosexual, or to get married for that matter.  so why are people even voting on this issue?  my questions may seem rudimentary, but i suppose that shows how idiotic the opposition is.  i recently read a frightfully passionate expression regarding this very topic, written by a man i know (thought i knew).  after reading and analyzing his heartfelt opinions, i think that this particular man is incredibly uncomfortable with his own sexuality.  that is the only way that he could be so calculatedly hateful and opposed to the concept – he must be struggling with his feelings.  i imagine it must be difficult for him.  he has a conservative christian preacher/pastor father.  although such a person should radiate acceptance and unconditional love, it is more likely and realistic that a gay son would cast a shadow on his ability to teach and to lead.  unfortunately, many of the proclaimed christians that i know (but NOT ALL) are quite close-minded regarding what their fellow man or woman can and cannot do in the privacy of their own bedroom.  I’m not sure why that becomes an issue, christian or otherwise, but apparently it does.

the person that i am so passively responding to has strong feelings about gay marriage – the strongest i have ever seen.  his arguments become downright ridiculous, and it begs the question as to why he expends so much time and energy to the rejection of a concept that really wouldn’t affect or harm his daily life.  in our world, we are LUCKY to come across two individuals who love each other and want to make a life together.  marriages that work, that last, are incredibly rare.  who are we kidding?  marriage isn’t about sex and reproduction and all that – it’s about FRIENDSHIP and respect.  i don’t think that “friendship” and “respect” are exclusive to heterosexual relationships.  i think they exist in ANY good relationship, whatever your sexual orientation may be.  it takes a lot to offend me, but this person, with his steadfast opposition to gay marriage, gay love and gay adoption, has done so.  he has offended me more than i have ever been offended…so i can’t even begin to imagine how passionate people feel.  this is the response from an average, open-minded girl.  i have no particular motivation.

so it’s time to remove this person from my circle of acquaintances.  i am sure that he must have a good heart underneath it all, but i am not the person to find it.  maybe i’m being narrow-minded, but it’s truly difficult for me to comprehend why someone would object to the personal, private happenings of other people.  if you object on the basis on governmental benefits, than i simply ask you to reconsider and analyze governmental benefits as a whole…that’s an easily dismissed objection.  whatever you believe or support, there are governmental programs for and against it.  maybe an opponent to this post can come up with a different rationale.  and maybe not.  at least i have said some of what i want to say, and maybe one person our there will identify or understand, or take the time to respond.  thank you, and happy holidays!

Wedding woes, change of plans…

It appears that throwing a huge, offensively expensive and outrageous party for our nuptials, and the novelty that it was, has worn off for lack of any real good reason to do it. I mean a party is certainly in order, but spending a small fortune to get 200+ guests nice and liquored up for a few hours and shove food down their throats seems a bit… hmmm… what’s the word… exorbitant, and almost wanton. I mean, we might as well be in Vegas for five hours and the same things could probably occur for a much less hefty price tag. Don’t get me wrong, i think that a party is definitely in order and i will be the first one to pop open a champagne bottle, i just think that we are loosing focus of what we really want to achieve here.We want to get married, not throw the best party Columbus has ever seen. If we could do both without loosing our minds along the way, that would be great. Seeing things as they are, we have chosen an alternate route to the alter – a much cheaper yet, in its own way, much more personal and perhaps beautiful arrangement for our big day. We were thinking of Marco Beach Ocean Resort for a beach side ceremony and reception following on the veranda. Simple, elegant, uncomplicated. We are by no means big planners. I can’t even organize my own sock drawer. I think an easy packaged ceremony bodes well for us, and the destination provides us with a trimmed down guest list. The C-bus wedding was getting really hard with all the vendors, appointments, meetings, and the like – this is just easier. We fly there, we get married. Simple. More info on our wedding website! 

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current plans for the big day…

Here is a mock-up of what the ceremony will possibly look like.  Thought you guys would like to see it…

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Mr. Ginsberg as master of ceremonies?

We met with a potential officiant to marry us today, and much to our pleasant surprise it was Allen Ginsberg – no not really of course but if he had a twin…I couldn’t help wondering if he owned a bookstore in San Francisco. In any case, he seemed pleasant enough with a touch space cadet mentality…sounds like a fit for us…

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